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A Little One

This post was written at 8 weeks. I waited to publish it until we announced our pregnancy at the end of the first trimester.

We’ve know about you for just over a month now. But let me tell you, that does not make you seem real.

I’ve just now adjusted to the idea that you’re there, in my belly, growing just as fast as you can. But I still catch myself wondering,

well, what if that test was wrong

I’ve been lucky so far in terms of symptoms. I haven’t had any morning sickness (which by the way, doesn’t just happen in the morning) and the nausea that I’ve experienced has been brief. I’ve had a general crappy feeling, like I’m just getting over a cold – but for weeks. I looked in the mirror the other day and a half dead woman looked back at me.  Hopefully once we enter the second trimester, you and I, I’ll start to feel a bit better. Apparently most women become energized.

There are things happening to my body that I knew would, but didn’t really realize how they would happen. Like, my boobs are expanding and preparing to produce the milk to feed you. I didn’t realize that would hurt. But my breasts ache every moment of the day. I’ve mostly lost the ability to sleep on my stomach, not because of a developing belly, but because it puts too much pressure on my breasts. I also knew that my joints and ligaments would loosen and stretch so that my body would have room to accommodate you. I didn’t realize that would hurt either. The tendon that connects my hips to my pelvis aches when I go from sitting to standing.

The thing I’ve been having the most trouble with is my diet. I’ve had the habit of skipping lunch. Not because I’ve wanted to lose weight or anything, but mostly because I was busy working and didn’t want to take the time to fix a meal. It really hit me hard the other day though – I absolutely cannot skip meals anymore. But that is harder than it sounds. I’ve gotten to the point of setting alarms on my phone that go off throughout the day to remind me to eat.

I thought that I would be more frightened and anxious about your arrival, but I’ve been feeling really calm about the concept of you. Stressed about how to prepare for you…

what do we buy?

what kind of crib? Do we even NEED a crib?

Cloth diapers or disposable? How to do you pick a carseat/stroller?

The actual care of you isn’t even a concern for me. We’re ready for you.

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